Uncommon Friendships

The One Thing High-Achieving Women Need in Relationships 

You know one thing high achieving women have in common? 

They are always moving up, from accolade to accolade, from trophy to bigger trophy, from big job to bigger job, from great to greater. 

So this interview between Melinda Gates, and Oprah and her best friend Gayle is very revealing. If you know that you are truly outstanding, that you are a high achiever, please acknowledge what you need: people around you who will never be jealous of who you are. 

If you don’t, you will find yourself in love/hate relationships, or you will forever be hiding and folding away the best parts of yourself to make said friend or partner feel good. 

In choosing both a life partner and close friends, you must filter out anyone who has even the hint of jealousy about anything you do, have or achieve.

This filter is a prerequisite. It will save you years of heartache. It will save you time. It will help you to filter out trouble, and make room for the authentic, genuine people to come into your life.

Oprah said this in the interview: “The reason why I think our friendship has worked is because Gayle is happier - not happy - but happier for me for any kind of success or victory or challenge I get through than I am for myself. And I feel as happy as she does. I can’t feel happier than she does. And I am equally as happy for her.” 

Read that again. 

There is not only the acknowledgement that Gayle is that kind of rare person, but there is that unwritten understanding and acceptance on Gayle’s part that her friend is a star, and she is okay with that. 

Gayle does not discount Oprah’s success; she does not override it; she does not ignore it. She’s just okay with being friends with someone who is way more famous and wealthy than she is. 

How many of us have those kinds of friends? They do exist, but we are sometimes tied up in inauthentic relationships and cannot see our way to them. We hold on to what we don’t want, shooting ourselves a little in the heart every time. 

If you are a high achieving person, it is not arrogant to acknowledge all that you are. In fact, your self knowledge is your secret weapon.

Like Oprah said, “You can’t really be friends with anybody who has a hint of jealousy about anything that you’re doing, certainly about your success, or being celebrated, or anything that you have…” 

She should know. She’s Oprah. And she has a Gayle.

I wish you the best of friends, and a life partner who gets you, and if who you have is not who you need, I hope you guard your bright future and walk away. 

Cheers to your high achieving self!