Spice Up the Old With Something New!

Surprise him and do something new!
If you’ve been married for a long enough time, chances are that things have become comfortable. You know what your partner is thinking and can finish his sentences. You know when he is angry, or hungry, or troubled.  You've learned his body and he knows what you like. You and him fit into your familiar sleeping positions, but when he makes you angry, you know just the right moment to turn away in a diva-esque huff. 

Younger couples look forward to that level of bonding. Older couples burnish this familiarity to a soulful shine. For years, my dad got a pimple on his forehead every month when my mom got her period (they’ve been married now for 46 years!) Most of us other folk are somewhere in the middle, in terms of our level of intimacy with our partners.

Lately I’ve discovered that because of this familiarity with my partner of 18 years, I actually have a secret weapon to use whenever I want to spice things up in my marriage: I do something new, unexpected or different - and this applies in and out of the bedroom. Because we are so familiar with each other, novelty is a surefire way to invigorate my marriage. (Somebody, please tell my husband that I don’t need to know when he goes out to buy me a birthday gift, smh!)

It seems so obvious that doing something new is the way to go, but obvious does not always translate into ‘easy’.  When you’re married to someone long enough, you do actually become one body - you move to each other’s rhythm and you begin to align your habits, your routines, your attitudes and your bodies to each other. So it is no wonder that it can be difficult to tear yourself away from this strong codependency in order to think up something new.

 It's hard, I admit - until you think of the results! Girl, I'm telling you - if you want to get your marriage fired up again, change things up. I’m not talking about drastic, uncomfortable change. I’m talking about the little tweaks that keep the familiar relationship fresh. Your partner will be wondering what happened. He’ll look at you with new eyes. He'll hurry home. He'll start calling at lunch time again.

Think of how you feel when you discover that your favorite handbag has a whole secret panel of hidden pockets that you never knew existed. You’re delighted because you didn’t know it could do all that! You forget about buying that shiny, new handbag you were thinking about, because the lovely, elegant one that you own is attractive in new ways. 

It works the same way in relationships, so take action today. Go be someone new. Go learn something new. Go do him differently.  Whether it is changing the way you look, or surprising him with a little gift out of the blue, or showing up at his workplace to have lunch - you  can kindle a fire in your relationship by ditching the same-o. 

And it works for your sex life as well. Try brushing up your lovemaking skills by taking an online class on sexual technique, or reading a how-to book or magazine, or watching a how-to video. You were not born with a built in handbook on sex! What makes it worse is the fact that we often do not learn sexual technique from the right sources, or we don't take the time to learn at all, trusting 'nature' to kick in (!!) - and it never does. This season is a good time to brush up your skills and surprise your partner. It is a good time to do your relationship differently, and bump the familiar. 

So....that's why I've put together this two hour webinar!

Blog subscribers get 10% off! Don't miss it. Click on the image below to go sign up, okay?