Lisa Dublin (00:03):
Hey, you made it. Welcome to my basement. I'm Lisa Dublin, a health and life coach, a speaker and an author, and this is my podcast, Basement Chronicles. Well, actually, this is your podcast if you are a professional, an executive, or an A-type woman, or all of them. You are part of what I like to call PEA Nation. I serve you by providing resources to help you to speak, to lead, and to live with confidence because you know what? Confidence is everything. So are you ready? Let's go.
(00:43):
So welcome to Basement Chronicles Episode Number three, Establish Your Non-Negotiables. I have to tell you why this is only episode number three and how after the second episode, I think I entered a little bit of analysis paralysis for a little while there. I kept on thinking, "Oh my goodness, can I really do this? It'll take so much from me." And it wasn't a matter of not having counted the cost before, because I did prepare my topics and all of that, but I think when you take your eyes off what you want to accomplish and you think of all of the attending factors, sometimes you can get scared.
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And the way that I got out of my analysis paralysis was to remind myself of the fact that I had done big things before, that during COVID, I was able in the middle of the stress and uncertainty of the whole pandemic, I was able to launch a vlog, Basement Chronicles that still lives on YouTube today. So by the way, if you haven't subscribed to Basement Chronicles, please go ahead and do that right now. It's on YouTube. Go to Basement Chronicles and hit the subscribe button.
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I also had to remind myself that in spite of having many irons in the fire, as they say at the same time, I have been able to accomplish things and that I shouldn't be afraid; that it is possible to cut through the noise as I have done before, put on those blinders and get the work done.
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The other reason I think that I took a little break even after my second episode was because I became aware of what I wanted my podcast to sound like and what I wanted it to do in the world for my PEA NATION - my professional, executive, and A-type women, the women that I appeal to the most. I wanted, first of all, to create a space that was just pleasant and to draw people into my world, a world that was refreshing, inspirational, empowering. That when they left, that they would want to look forward to hearing the next episode because it would've done so much for their hearts, for their souls, for their lives. That was the first thing.
(03:03):
And then listening to my first two episodes, you guys, I was like, "You know what? I'm going after very crisp audio." I want my audio to sound like it's in a full room. It's warm, it's deep, it's sultry, all of those great things that make great audio. And so I have been spending some time trying to figure out with Hilary, how do we do the audio? That has been very, very important. So the lesson there is if you find yourself afraid, remind yourself of the fact that you have won before, that you've done big things before, and remind yourself of that process that you used then and how it perhaps can work for you in your present situation. But let's go on to today's podcast, Establishing Your Non-Negotiables.
(03:55):
One of the reasons I've lasted in this space, online space for so long is because I have non-negotiables. What are non-negotiables? They're habits that you really cannot do without if you want to make the rest of your life possible. Non-negotiables, in my opinion, are habits that you prioritize even when it is tough to do so, even when all hell is breaking loose or even when you don't feel like. Your non-negotiables could be daily, weekly, or monthly activities that make it possible for you to bear the weight of your beautiful crazy life that is full of responsibility, all of that great stuff. So my question to you is, do you have your non-negotiables already fixed? What are they? Do they need to be improved?
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When I started doing Basement Chronicles, I used to always say that my non-negotiables were my prayer time, my working out time, and my writing time. In retrospect, however, I've realized that the one thing to know about non-negotiables is not what you want it to be, but what it really is. You literally have to start from that point and then you can build upon it if you want to expand and deepen and make more valuable these non-negotiables. But for me, when I look back at the last three years, I literally have two non-negotiables. And they're: I must have my devotional time on a morning, I must meet with my Maker. He made me. That's where I find my source, my strength. I get positivity, I get wisdom from hearing the Holy Spirit speak to me. I find strength for the day.
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The other non-negotiable is I must work out in some form of fashion. When I don't, I feel sluggish like everybody else. And at 47, I'm on the brink of entering into this whole perimenopause thing and I have to be very careful. I don't want to have to experience brain fog and falling off from my routines and feeling like I don't want to do life anymore. A lot of people at that time of their lives, a lot of women feel that way, and I do understand that having a proper exercise routine is perhaps going to lessen the effects of menopause that, I mean, everybody has to go through it.
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So these are my two non-negotiables. I must spend time with God on a morning and I must do some form of exercise. What are yours? Have you established them? Are they working for you?
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And so I thought in the second part of this podcast, what I would do was to help you know how to go about building a non-negotiable routine. Here's the first thing. Just like I did, just like a lot of us who are listening have already done, if you want to set up those non-negotiable routines, first of all, decide on what is most important to you. What gets you going on a daily basis? What do you need to do on a weekly basis to keep up your life, to maintain your productivity, to keep your moods high and your productivity high? For me, it is prayer and working out, but it can be something different for you.
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Here are some ideas. Some people like meditation. What about journaling? One of your non-negotiables might be reading a chapter of a book every day, or you could also make one of your non-negotiables listening to a daily podcast or watching a motivational video. It could be in the area of the physical. Maybe you want to do stretching every day or going for a 30-minute walk mostly every day. Decide on your non-negotiables. That's the first thing, and that comes from knowing what is most important to you. Okay, let's move on.
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The second point is this, develop a non-negotiable mindset. So how I did it for myself is to figure out something that you can think that will help you to keep your non-negotiables as fixed, as non-negotiable. For me, the thought that I came up with that helps me to keep my non-negotiables as a fixed reality in my life is this. "I have so much to do today that I better do my non-negotiables first of all." That's my thought. "I have so much to do today that I better get my non-negotiables out of the way. I better get them done." There are two things that are happening there. The first one is that I am telling myself that the foundational thing that needs to be done for me to get everything else done during the day is to do those two things, have my prayer time, and do my working out.
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The second thing that happens when I say that statement over and over again is it takes away the anxiety of, "Oh, you should be doing something else. Oh, shouldn't you be on the computer or shouldn't you be riding now? Oh, isn't it time for you to get off the treadmill?" No, I understand that the surefire way to accomplish the things I want to do is to first finish off the treadmill and to do it well, go for that walk, go to the gym, spend time with God because it is in there I get what I need to make the rest of the day possible. And so keep on thinking until you find a thought that works for you. Either you can borrow my thought, you can say, "I better get my non-negotiables out of the way because I have to get so much done today." Or you can keep on thinking until you find a thought that works for you that will make your non-negotiables a fixed reality. Keep on thinking until you harp on something that is valuable to you that when you say it over and over again, it makes you feel okay about taking that first hour of the day or two to be able to do your non-negotiables. That is key.
(10:19):
Point number three. For the first 30 days, just focus on showing up, not on getting results. You are wanting to build a non-negotiable habit, and one of the things I learned in coaching is the deepest kind of change happens at the identity level. And the way that you get there is to first move from changing behavior to changing habits, to then making it become an identity. That does not happen overnight. So you have to just focus first of all on just building the routine of your non-negotiables. So for me, I wake up, I've been doing it for a number of years. I'll do my Bible reading, do my prayer and worship, et cetera, do skin-to-skin. And then at five o'clock, I will do my exercise.
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So let's say you are wanting to start to build a walking habit, one to help you to feel better, maybe two, to lose some weight. And you are constantly jumping on the scale every single day. "Oh my gosh, it's not going down. I don't know what's happening." That should not be your focus for the first 30 days. Just simply focus on showing up. That is how you're going to build that habit. So that's how I've done it, and I think it works to develop that non-negotiable part of your life.
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Now, you are going to start to do your non-negotiables and life is going to try to get in the way. People will be calling at the time when you're supposed to be doing those things that are necessary for the rest of the day to be possible. And you have to stick to your guns. You do that by linking your non-negotiable routine to the rest of the day. For example, I need to journal. I'm just giving an example. I need to do my daily journals as part of my non-negotiables because if I do that, then I won't have all of those worrying thoughts all day long, and I'll have space to be thinking of solutions in my business, in my job, for my children, et cetera.
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Link the success that you want to the non-negotiables. And I guess it goes without saying that if you cannot find a link between your non-negotiables and what you want to accomplish on a daily or weekly basis, perhaps you need to revisit what those non-negotiables are. Maybe you have not found the non-negotiables that you really need to focus upon to make the rest of your day or your week possible.
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You guys, do you know that the secret to success lies in our habits? Your success lies in your routines. And so if you develop non-negotiable routines, you will have inevitable success. And who doesn't want that? We all want it, don't we?
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So thank you so much for listening today on Basement Chronicles, The Podcast. Tell me what you think. Leave a review wherever you're listening to this podcast. And you know what, send me some information. Let me know some feedback as to what do you want to hear more about on such a podcast. I want it to be relevant. I want it to be like that little warm, little piece of sunshine that you have in your back pocket and that you look forward to listening to on a weekly basis. So you can help me to do that by telling me what you want to hear about. Hit me up, send me an email, lisa@lisamdublin.com, or you can hit me up everywhere on social media at the same handle, @lisamdublin.
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Thank you PEA Nation. And remember, find your non-negotiables because your success lies in your routine.
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Thank you so much for listening to Basement Chronicles today. Don't forget to like and share this podcast everywhere. And join me next week for another episode of Basement Chronicles. I am Lisa Dublin. Bye!