Hi, and welcome to Basement Chronicles, Episode #1
Today I woke up and I wrote on Threads (you can follow me @lisamdublin on Threads), I wrote,”I just determined in my mind that it IS going to be a POWERFUL DAY!”
I had no idea why I wrote it, but I came back to my desk and was polishing up my article to send out today, and i realized that I had a lot more outpouring of the soul on that topic, and if I had to write it all down, it would take up more than my 250 word limit.
So I decided to record instead. And when I listened back, I was amazed. I had just recorded my first podcast episode.
Now no, this is not fly by night, this is not a one off situation. Why do I say that? I’ve been incubating a lot of great things for a while - marinating ideas in my head of how I will make a difference in this world that is tangible, profitable and viable.
Secondly, this morning, I listened over and over again to Brooke Castillo’s podcast, episode #483: Create Your Work for the World.
Thirdly, I’ve been imagining when I get to say, Episode #100, #200, #500. I’ve been incubating all these things you guys, and this morning, it all came together.
So tell me what you think. Today, my topic is What I Discovered About Loving Myself. Let’s go. Basement Chronicles, Episode #1
I’m wary of placard love.
The kind of outward proclamation of one’s worth that is oftentimes disconnected from what is really true within you.
You know what I mean: shouting to the world that you are strong and invincible and worthy, that you don’t take nonsense, that you will walk if you’re treated a certain way, but privately accepting and settling for the exact opposite.
Been there. Done that.
It’s empty and false and most people want to do better but don’t know how.
I start with valuing myself first now. Being very clear about how I want to be treated, and extending that same kind of treatment to others.
After all, we HAVE to love others as we love ourselves. It’s only then you have a tried and tested blueprint of what love looks like.
So when someone tries to be substandard with me, I don’t get upset at them.
Us human beings will always test each other, always push each other’s boundaries to see how far we can go; how much you will take. It’s up to you to say no.
So I put pressure on my response.
When I do that, I discover my most powerful feelings.
This act of self love is quiet, gentle and abiding. You get to love parts of you that perhaps had been outsourced; you get to embrace a lot more of yourself, lovingly.
Love is patient and kind to one’s self first and then to others; love is slow to anger and condemn yourself first; slow to anger and condemn others. (Read 1 Corinthians 13. It’s all there, and all true.)
Love is being careful with yourself, to constantly be asking “Where does it hurt? Who is causing the hurt?” and being brave enough to answer these questions honestly.
And once you’ve identified the source of your hurt, loving yourself necessitates that you remove yourself from that situation, with a smile on your face and a joy in your heart.
You know why?
Because you are turned inwards, hastening back towards harmony and peace with yourself.
What that looks like is that you can remove yourself from an unloving situation and you still go on loving the person - from afar, away from the mess, because you are no longer a victim.
That act in itself means that you trust yourself to not let your boundaries slip around said person.
Ah. That is the problem, isn’t it? We do the all or nothing with people who hurt us, because we do not trust ourselves around them.
What if you focused on loving yourself every day? You are the standard.
If that person has not changed towards you, you continue to stay away.
Every day you are valuable. Every day you deserve to be treated right.
Every day, if you are not being treated right, you stay away.
It’s a standard that will stick, if you let it.
So you do a version of what I like to call “gathering my skirts around me and moving off in dignity.’ (I watched a lot of Little House on the Prairie y’all).
Because I love myself, I have resolved to remove myself quietly but ultimately from any situation that does not serve me. No matter how painful and awkward it is; no matter if it takes me a while to do it. If you stay in an abusive or unhealthy situation, you are saying it’s okay.
So I hope you love yourself today, enough to be on your own side. I hope you love yourself enough to gently walk away from any situation that does not serve your best interest, and to stay away, in love.
Yeah, so there you have it. Episode #1
I don’t know if you knew, but I’m a health and life coach and I help professional, executive and A type women to speak, lead and live with confidence. Why? Because you’re awesome, you’ve got great potential, and you deserve to move from good to great. You deserve to be focused upon and given expert attention. So go to my website, www.lisamdublin.com and set up a free transformation call so you and I can discuss what coaching can do for you.
Share this podcast around y’all. Let’s make it a thing.
Thanks for listening!
I am Lisa Dublin.